Sunday, April 17, 2005

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section? " She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him. . . is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station restrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get deer to cross at the yellow road sign?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?

Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of this stuff?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If the invisible man married the invisible woman, would their kids be much to look at?  

2 comments:

Callum said...

Just happened on the Blog looking for the answer to what was the best ting before sliced bread like the one liners very funny.

Anonymous said...

I was also searching wat was the best thing before sliced bread lol but this website is pretty funny and can santa tell me where all the bad girls are at?